Cleveland Museum

Cleveland Museum
Science Museum and the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame

Thursday, October 15, 2009

What would you choose, money or your family?

What is valuable to you? Your MP3? Your game system? Your family? Spending time with your family? Most people think that expensive items are the most valuable items to them, but sometimes that isn’t true. Some people think that spending time with the people who love and care for you is valuable. Family members are supposed to help you out in need and love you for everything you do. Expensive items may cost money and mean something to you but think about how much your family has given back to you. Now what do you think is valuable?

It was November; it was windy outside on the middle of football season. I was sitting on the couch at my grandparents’ historic house and my father calls me into the kitchen. I walked downstairs and across the hall into the kitchen. The kitchen smelled of warm soup and pot roast. When I walked in I saw my father leaning against the counter hold an envelope with his name written on it. He opens the envelope with a knife and pulls out two rectangular pieces of thick paper. I told me that they were the club seat $300 tickets to the next Cleveland Browns home football game. He asked me if I wanted to go since he had two tickets and I exclaimed loudly that I wanted to go. The game was going to be the Cleveland Browns versus the Indianapolis Colts.

The day of the game came around and my father was telling me that the game was going to be a little windy. He told me to wear long pants and a sweatshirt. Our seats were in the club section, so we were going to be up three levels from the field, where we could easily see the whole field. Our seats were also on the lake side, which means that we were sitting on the side of the stadium that was closest to Lake Erie so we wouldn’t get as much wind but we still got some.

Once we got to the stadium, we had to find the gate that was closest to our seats and to the elevator. Once we found the elevator and went up it, we would be inside the club. The club was filled with tables and food, had lots of TVs that showed the game, and it was heated inside since it was closed off from the rest of the stadium. When I looked around I understood why the tickets for the club seats were $250 each. My grandpa has season tickets to the club seats so that is why my father and I had club seat. The game started at 6:05 pm and it was only 5:30 pm I decided to go out to see the football field. I could see all of the football players practicing on the Astro-turf. The fake, realistic looking field was glistening from the sprinkling that Cleveland had experienced. The Astro-turf was out in so the football uniforms wouldn’t get covered in stains from being tackled hard, stepped on, or just being crushed by six football players trying to get the ball.

6:05 came way too fast and kick-off happened and before I knew what was happening the game was over. The Cleveland Browns beat the Colts and adding another victory to their record. I didn’t want to leave the stadium, I wanted to stay a little longer so I could take in a little more of the field and my first experience at a professional football game.

Every school vacation I go to Ohio to visit the side of my family I don’t get to see so often. I love spending time with my grandparents and friends. I have so many memories of going to places with my grandma. Last vacation my grandma, my brother and I went museum hopping. The first museum we went to was the Historical Society Museum. We got to look at all of the old cars and some new cars in the car display. There were, at least, 60 cars and 10 boats. The most interesting boat that I saw there was the Tinkerbell. A man traveled across the Atlantic Ocean in a small cramped boat where he had to kneel and only enough space for himself and supplies. The second museum we went to was the art gallery. There were so many different paintings and pictures. My grandma and I both loved the painting painted with gunpowder but we despised the whole modern art section. The modern art made no sense to us at all in any way. The last museum we went to was the Natural History Museum. It was filled with dinosaur bones, other prehistoric creatures, displays of animals, and an outdoors section where the birds, raccoons, foxes, and other wildlife was kept. It was the most exciting thing my brother and I have had with our grandma in a long time. We have never had so much fun exploring museums or even just spending quality time with grandma. My grandpa was too busy with work to come with us and my father didn’t come with us to Ohio that time.

Since my brother and I always play our Xbox 360 instead of spending time with our family, my grandma thought of an idea to bring all of us together. She came up with renting movies to watch every night before we went to bed. We only watched comedy movies since no one in the family, except me, likes horror movies. We had a great time watching the movies together as a family.

Both of the items that I value a lot are very similar. Both items have me sharing enjoyable and happy moments together. The Cleveland Browns Football game was in Cleveland, which is right down the road from my grandparents’ house. I love spending time with family and friends. The Cleveland Browns game and going museum hopping and watching movies with my grandma may be similar but they are also different. The ticket to the game may have been $300 but spending time with my family is priceless. Money and expensive objects cannot buy my family. I love my family too much to give them up for money, jewelry, and other pricey items.


  1. Elizabeth is saying that family is more valuable than material possessions. Also she asks questions to the reader to get their mind thinking of what is value. She strongly values the Cleveland Browns game and the trip to the museum for its priceless value. Both she values for spending time with her family. I would suggest adding a possession of financial value in your revision. She describes the Cleveland Browns game very clearly. She says "Our seats were also on the lake side, which means that we were sitting on the side of the stadium that was closest to Lake Erie so we wouldn’t get as much wind but we still got some." Giving specific detail on the day of the football game. Its overall strength is the introduction. It makes the reader really think about what value means to them.

  2. I think that what you are trying to say about what is value, and what you most strongly value is that you think that they are both generally more important. I believe that you think that family is what really matters. Also, the moments that you create. I think that you are trying to say that family is extremely important, and that the memories that you create with them are the most valuable out of everything. So I think that if you could pick expensive belongings or memories with your family, then you would pick the memories with your family.

    I think that the football game was very clear and detailed. It's description was better and more vivid than the museum hopping one. I like how you skipped the part when they actually played, saying then the beginning and end came too soon. I like how you described the club seats because, honestly, I had no idea what they were at first. It made much more sense once you described it, and I could picture it in my head much better than before.

    I think that one of this essay's overall strengths is the use of detail. It described things clearly and uniquely. I could picture everything in my head as I was reading the story, and that was very helpful. There were lots of adjectives, and you definately explained things well. I really enjoyed reading it, and that was probably because it flowed nicely and had awesome use of words.

    I think that something that you might want to take into considerarion is to just indent between paragraphs with the same topic. Because If you double space in between each paragraph, a reader might think that each seperated paragraph is about something totally different, which isn't true. So a suggestion that I have is to double space between the priced and priceless paragraphs, and just indent within the paragraphs with the same topic (price and priceless). Other than that, I think that it's a really great story. Actually, something else to consider is to make a more creative title. maybe something like, "Cleveland v. Ohio" since the football game was in Cleveland and the museum hopping was in Ohio (just an option).

  3. The author states that she values both going museum hopping and going to a football game. They both seem to be alike, because she is with her family at both times. But, she considers the football game tickets something of money value rather than spending time with her family. She also raises questions about what is valuable to us, our family, or just objects.

    The author most vividly described the football game, it was like she took us through the moment of when her father opened the envelope. Not to say that the other part wasn't great too, it's just she seemed to describe it a bit more. My favorite line would be "The kitchen smelled of warm soup and pot roast." I liked it because it gave us insight into one of the senses that we don't hear from too often.

    The strongest part of the essay I believe would be the introductory paragraph. It really posed the questions of what is valuable to us, and what is not. So it made the reader think. Overall the essay was really good everywhere.

    One thing the author might want to work on would be using better and more rich adjectives. I hate to say this, but there weren't too many. You were really straight forward though. It just could have been a bit more descriptive.

    Good Job Beth!

  4. i think the author values are a cleaveland browns football game and going to her grandma's house in ohio and spending time with her family. what the author seems to be stating is that these two things that she values are very similar. although the ticket were $250, the time she spent with her dad was priceless. and when she goes to ohio the time she spends with her family and grandma watching movies and going musame hopping is priceless.

    i think out of the author's two values the cleaveland browns game was described more clearly and vividly than the time she spends with her family. 'It was November; it was windy outside on the middle of football season. I was sitting on the couch at my grandparents’ historic house.' and 'The fake, realistic looking field was glistening from the sprinkling that Cleveland had experienced.'i like the word choice.

    i think the strongest part of this essay is the introductory paragraph. it makes the reader think. i also think the author did a good job with word choice in some parts of the essay.

    one thing the author could improve on to make this essay better would be to describe more. make it more like were with her and edit it. like 'I told me that they were the...' i think it's suposed to be he told me.but i could be wrong. but over all very good job on the essay!